Monday, August 13, 2012

Year 26: Boss Tendencies::Letting Go

 "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

One of the most common questions to date that children are asked about what they want to be when the grow up. Many times a child's decision is based on the influences of their environment or based a situation that may have occurred. 

Growing up, I first wanted to be a pediatrician because my older sister wanted to pursue that. For a while it stayed that way, and I justified it with saying that I loved children. I even went into detail to say that I wanted to be a neonatal nurse. All throughout high school I was in the Health Academy which I despised. During my junior and senior year in high school, we were able to participate in internships. Being in the health academy I interned at a local hospital which confirmed my dislike for the health field. I knew I would not put my phlebotomy certificate to use. So on to college I go, thinking I then wanted to be a lawyer. My mother also boosted that claim when she shared with me a prayer about how she prayed for a Pastor, a Doctor and a Lawyer. My siblings and I were all lined up to fit right into her prayer until life happened. We grew up and began thinking and really channeling our inner selves. We began seeking God for OUR life. I remember always saying how I want to go to law school in NY. Even while in TX, I would say the same thing. However, whenever I would study and take the test, the scores came back not impressive. My brother even invested in a LSAT class with Powerscore and still, my score was just about the same. 

So here I am, now in NY a year later, and I have confirmed that law school is not in my future. Every time I would pick up the book to study, I get sleep or nothing retains. It's as if I am forcing it. I honestly do not think, when it comes to your passion and desires, anything should be forced. Not saying that it will be easy, however there should be an enjoyment in the pressure. I stacked up my LSAT study books and placed them on the ledge.

There comes a time in our lives where we have to come to a point of letting go. Giving up what others want for you even if they may mean well, is a freedom factor for you. My mother and family always have pushed me for law, but what I think they have failed to understand was how to read us as individuals. Being of Haitian descent, I realize that they only want whats best for us. Becoming doctors and lawyers and businessmen are prestigious titles indeed, however that is one title I am okay with not obtaining. 

I am on a search for what it is that God wants for me. I pray to be in HIS Will and that I am able to exhaust my gifts and talents by the time He comes. 

Let go of the heaviness of other ideas of who they think you should be, so that you can be free to be who God wants you to be. 

Divine Beauty

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