Monday, December 31, 2012

The Last 2012 Post

I wanted, needed the last post to be a sweet one. God has been and is so good to me. Farewell to 2012, the year where I gained more wisdom and made decisions for myself. Where I gave love and received love. I traveled, I experimented, I laughed, I cried. All in all, I made it thru. Here is to you. You who stayed and saw it thru. Much love leaving 2012. May 2013 bring forth the utmost, unexplainable, daring days ever. May the pace of God, the love of God, the strength of God be with each of us.


Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Hard Love {Relationships}

Love should never be hard to do. Hard to have, be, nor hard to express. Yet, here I am in a "Hard Love" situation. We have misconstrued what love is by trying to live through the fantasies of books, TV shows and movies. And then disappointment happens, when our love doesn't end up like Disney Princess stories. The world have lied to us many times about love and how it should be, or at least what they think it should be. Clearly stated in the Greatest book known to us, is that God is Love. HE Love us so much that He gave His only SON, to die for us. Who would honestly allow man to slay their only child? What a God we serve. God's love for us is unconditional. Without conditions. Without preconceived notions. Without bias. Without limit. Without the fear of the unknown.

When I uttered the words 'I Love You' doors opened up to a world I tried to keep away from. With each word that pressed thru my lips, my heart broke off a chip that held on from fear and hurt. When I exhaled my sentiments into your ears, I thought I would have opened doors of bliss and comfort truth, but instead I opened doors of criticism and blame, hurt from your past, that is not mind to carry, but here I am trying to love you with all your faults. I am just human, the child of God, unable to carry such weight. It is not mine to have, please spare me anymore hurt, anymore blame, anymore fear of what I do not know. Christ died, so that your insecurities can be taken away. He died, so that you can be free from your past, and all of your evil ways. Don't get stuck in between what use to be and what is. Call it out and claim freedom. When I stepped into the words 'I Love You' I grabbed a hold of you, hoping that you will see the Love that only Christ can be.
Sometimes we are captured by this misconception of what Love is. Love is free from revenge. Love is your voice I hear on the other end of the line, feeling as if you are next to me even though I know you are truly thousand miles away. Love is forgiving you for hurting me immaturely. I am a vessel filled with this Love, but my love can't go through bricks of pride and ego, it can't go through cement blocks of hurt and fear, it will not go through shattered glass of your past. As much as I want to love you, hard love I cannot do. I was once emotionless to you, but from the second 'I Love You' left my lips, emotion-filled is what I became for you.

I look at the moments and think, this can't be it. Distance will never be a reason why I can't love you the way I should love you nor me.

This is for you Love. Clear to everyone, clear as day. See it how you will, but I wasn't born to be Hard Loved. I don't know why you love me, but I do know that I can't sit around waiting for you to find out. I'm all the way in, that is........until you shut me out. And right now, I'm feeling pushed out. So, baby clear as day are these words from me to you. Take them as you will. I refuse to be Hard Loved. Love should never be hard.

****Walking away is never easy when your heart is open and free, but walking away is needed when you heart is too open and needs to be free****

From: Me
To: Him

Thursday, December 6, 2012

If...randomness about Me

Found this on a friends blog, figure why not get to know me, just a little bit better.
  • If I were a gemstone, I’d be a ruby.
  • If I were a scent, I’d be a mix of lavender and vanilla.
  • If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be bedroom slippers.
  • If I were the weather, I’d be Autumn first breeze.
  • If I were a facial expression, I’d be sleepy smile.
  • If I were a car, I’d be a Range Rover.
  • If I were a time of day, I’d be Sunrise.
  • If I were a month, I’d be November.
  • If I were a place, I’d be home. 
  • If I were a liquid, I’d be sweet wine.
  • If I were a taste, I’d be spicy.
  • If I were a sea animal, I’d be a dolphin.
  • If I were a food, I’d be Pasta.
  • If I were a color, I’d be purple.
  • If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a keyboard.
  • If I were a flower, I’d be daffodil.
  • If I were an object, I’d be food processor.
  • If I were a fruit, I’d be a mango.
  • If I were a sound, I’d be a baby's giggle.
  • If I were a day of the week, I’d be a Saturday. (Love my lazy days)
  • If I were a nail polish color, I’d be Royal Purple.
  • If I were a bakery treat, I’d be a warm croissant filled with chocolate and cream.
  • If I were a store, I’d be Macy's.
  • If I were a season, I’d be Autumn.
  • If I were a perfume, I’d be Ed Hardy (the original).

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Quote Me Tuesday

"When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?"- Thich Nhat Hanh 

Found Here

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Pausing Time


Based on the title of this post, can we really pause time? Of course the answer is no. No matter what we may think or try to do, time will continue to run out, pass us by, and simply tick and tock. Seconds creating minutes, into hours, into days, weeks, months, and years. At a point in our life we will look back and let's hope that what we see is our goals being completed vs the same problem we've had years ago still in the forefront.

Sometimes I like to press pause. Not so much on time, but on my life. Pausing, yielding because sometimes we can be living too fast for our own good.

Imagine if there weren't any stop signs, or traffic lights to tell us when to go, slow down and stop? What if there weren't any speed bumps, or even pot holes in the road. I sometimes see these things as good pauses in life. Does anyone ever realize how fast they are going until they crash? I rather heed the signs to slow down and take a moment and reevaluate what's going on around me, in me, in front of me. There is nothing wrong with stepping away for a while, to fine tune the craft and gift that God has given us. Just like a car needs to be refueled with gas, or its oil change, and what about the tires? They get burnt out too.

So here I am, taking a pause. Considering that this is the first day of the last month of 2012; which 2012 has been a BLESSED year indeed for me, I do not want 2013 to be the same. I've learned a lot about myself and the friendships, family-ships, relationships that I am in. So, I'm pausing. Pausing from the planning, pausing from the over-thinking, pausing and simply loving. Loving God, Loving myself, Loving those around me, embracing them and being in them.

Step back and pause for a moment. Refresh yourself, so that you can only be the best you. However long you choose to pause for, just don't forget to press play.