Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Hard Love {Relationships}

Love should never be hard to do. Hard to have, be, nor hard to express. Yet, here I am in a "Hard Love" situation. We have misconstrued what love is by trying to live through the fantasies of books, TV shows and movies. And then disappointment happens, when our love doesn't end up like Disney Princess stories. The world have lied to us many times about love and how it should be, or at least what they think it should be. Clearly stated in the Greatest book known to us, is that God is Love. HE Love us so much that He gave His only SON, to die for us. Who would honestly allow man to slay their only child? What a God we serve. God's love for us is unconditional. Without conditions. Without preconceived notions. Without bias. Without limit. Without the fear of the unknown.

When I uttered the words 'I Love You' doors opened up to a world I tried to keep away from. With each word that pressed thru my lips, my heart broke off a chip that held on from fear and hurt. When I exhaled my sentiments into your ears, I thought I would have opened doors of bliss and comfort truth, but instead I opened doors of criticism and blame, hurt from your past, that is not mind to carry, but here I am trying to love you with all your faults. I am just human, the child of God, unable to carry such weight. It is not mine to have, please spare me anymore hurt, anymore blame, anymore fear of what I do not know. Christ died, so that your insecurities can be taken away. He died, so that you can be free from your past, and all of your evil ways. Don't get stuck in between what use to be and what is. Call it out and claim freedom. When I stepped into the words 'I Love You' I grabbed a hold of you, hoping that you will see the Love that only Christ can be.
Sometimes we are captured by this misconception of what Love is. Love is free from revenge. Love is your voice I hear on the other end of the line, feeling as if you are next to me even though I know you are truly thousand miles away. Love is forgiving you for hurting me immaturely. I am a vessel filled with this Love, but my love can't go through bricks of pride and ego, it can't go through cement blocks of hurt and fear, it will not go through shattered glass of your past. As much as I want to love you, hard love I cannot do. I was once emotionless to you, but from the second 'I Love You' left my lips, emotion-filled is what I became for you.

I look at the moments and think, this can't be it. Distance will never be a reason why I can't love you the way I should love you nor me.

This is for you Love. Clear to everyone, clear as day. See it how you will, but I wasn't born to be Hard Loved. I don't know why you love me, but I do know that I can't sit around waiting for you to find out. I'm all the way in, that is........until you shut me out. And right now, I'm feeling pushed out. So, baby clear as day are these words from me to you. Take them as you will. I refuse to be Hard Loved. Love should never be hard.

****Walking away is never easy when your heart is open and free, but walking away is needed when you heart is too open and needs to be free****

From: Me
To: Him

No comments:

Post a Comment