God...The Center

*Deep Breath*

Okay, several deep breaths. I've been thrown off course more so than ever for the last couple of months. Many things have happened towards the end of last year and honestly I'm not one to dwell on situations. Saying that, it also means that I am not one to always confront situations, because I rather them be left alone. But of course that's not always wise. I've allowed my world to become greater than God. Allowed it to sour my mood and control my emotions. I've also been denying and covering it up with hurt smiles and angry laughs. Nothing really genuine. I've been walking around as if everything is okay, as if all is well with me. I'm tired. Tired of it all. As soon as I completed that thought, the verse gets pushed in the forefront of my mind "Come to me and I will give you rest". No one but God. No one but Jesus. NO ONE. 

I've been walking around praying scared prayers, timidly coming to the Father. Pushing away what I know I need. For what!? Like some BIG BANG is going happen to simply change the situation 360. Not saying that it can't, because God is God and He does what He pleases. 

" Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." -Hebrew 4:16

 It's all a process, a season, a "through" that we all have to endure. The thing is with me, is that I know better. I truly do, I've been in that place where I've walked with God hand in hand and His voice is what lead me in the directions. Then what happens is I get in my own way. I get stubborn and tell God, oh I got it, I'll call you when it's that one thing that I can't push. But see, it's all wrong. God is an all inclusive God. He's the first, the last, the in-between, all over God. In being real, I don't think I do it on purpose, but I do let my environment and my situation dictate and remove me from the hands of God at times. Instead of telling my problem that my God is greater than it and that I will overcome it, I skedaddle to a little "me" corner and let it consume me.

I created the image above to remind myself that God is the center of my life. He's the giver of my heartbeat. The one that allows me to wake up every morning with His grace and mercy washing over me EVERY day. It represents that in all those categories that He has precedence. He is there all throughout, not only in the beginning, but also at the end.

At any point when one thing feels like it is weighing you down, try and inspect the position that it is in your life. Is work stressful? Is God at your job? Are you seeking Him in your right now season? Are you praying for God's Will  fro each relationship, your family, each situation? Not only are we seeking, but are we simply getting in His presence? God likes it when we are all up in His face. Jesus being at the center of my life, gives me that balance. Not saying  that some days one thing won't be heavier than the next, but you should always know that when you go back to your center or keep God at the center entering every situation there's that balance. He's that balance that keeps your tongue from ripping your fellow sister or brother into tomorrow. He's that balance that keeps you from going over the edge. Thank God there's no limit with Him. There is only freedom.

I'm grateful for the chance to be able to write this, as it has been somewhat heavy on my heart. I know I haven't been where I needed to be, so I thank God for taking me back every time. Life happens to us everyday, just remember that God is greater and is with us through life happening. So what are we choosing to let happen to us?

With Love and Blessings,
Daphne

Because I feel like it......

Yes, because I felt like writing. Writing to ease this tension, anxiety, frantic sense that has been surrounding me this week. I've been feeling all sorts of ways that I can't explain. Like the feeling of neediness. I told a friend of mine that he's neglecting me and he called me a brat. Maybe I was being a brat, but all I wanted was to hear his voice. (Is that too much to ask?) Anyways, he ended up calling and it was a temporary high that only made me want him physically  there with me. But I digress.

I don't really get too personal on my blog when it comes to relationships and such, but then again I am trying to live a transparent lifestyle, which isn't easy of course. And today I just wanted to write. So whatever comes of this post is meant to be here. Judgement or no judgement. Since October started, I feel like more productivity should be in place for setting up my present as well as my future. Realigning my goals, plans, and seeking His guidance in it all. People this life is not easy, but when you stick it through you come out on top and you look back and smile, rejoice because you see how far you have come.

I am always attempting to be a better me, fighting against my old way, trying to lay foundation for the better things, but it's not easy. Gotta stick it through, be disciplined. My thoughts are all kind of over the place, because that's exactly how they are in my mind. Running rapid and sometimes running into each other.

JESUS!

Sometimes that all I can say, call on Him. There is a peace that falls over me, when I call on the name of Jesus. Strengthening power when He is at the forefront of my thoughts. Aligning together all the things that want to take over my mind, conquering them one by one. Jesus. The calm in the raging storm that wants to take over my body. Jesus. The comforter that caresses my soul when my body deceives me. Jesus. The truth  that holds no judgement of my hypocrisy. Jesus. The love that holds my hands, looks me in my face, and whispers in my ear. Jesus. Oh Jesus. The power within that overcomes the attacks of the enemy, that tries to entrap us every minute of every hour of every day. JESUS. The quiet release of the tension, the fear, the anxiety, the persecution, the loneliness, and the self-destruction. Jesus. The corrector of all my faults, my wrongs, my sins. Jesus. The true lover of my soul.

Many of times I have these epiphany where I have the concrete solution to the problem, but there's like cement on my legs preventing me from acting on the solution. Jesus be the help, be the motivation, be the courage.

As I slowly take deep breaths, close my eyes and surrender. I am nothing. Nothing more then just pure dust collected in form for His Glory. So may the things that I say, and do be reflections of God goodness in me. Sometimes that view is tainted because of our self infliction's BUT GOD.

So friends, do today what yesterday did not produce and what tomorrow we will not find to do.

Love always,
Daph